“Why am I not dead yet? I want to be dead already.” She always screamed at herself. Everytime she wakes up with a pounding headache and upset stomach from drinking too much of those pills. Everytime her wrist throbs or is numb, she screams that in her head.
She knows why she’s held back. But she doesn’t want to admit it. Because she does want to go. To leave. But…she can’t you see. She’s being selfish. She doesn’t want to leave her family. No. Not her blood family. They do not mean anything to her. By family, she means friends. She loves them more than anything imaginable.
She can’t leave them. She knows they’ll be better off. But…she just can’t. And it’s frustrating to her.
Love holds you back. And it sucks.
((Sorry for all the dark posts. Reading this story and it just gives me inspiration. A break anyway for all the love themed post anyway. haha))