Entry #21

I don’t get it.

I’ve read what you wrote for I don’t know how many times

And I still don’t get it.

…I don’t believe it.

Im so sorry but I don’t understand how could you see all that in me.

I’m nothing.

I really am.

I don’t understand.

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Entry #20

I feel like I should be drowning. Like there’s a metal ball chained to my leg, but somehow I am floating.

People may think this is a good feeling but it is not.

I deserve to drown. I want to drown.

But somethings are preventing me from drowning.

It’s a heavy feeling, this whole thing. Very heavy.

Im not okay. I’m really not okay. But I don’t know if I should say it

It’s best I keep this to myself.

A Message from the Girl in the Mirror

“It’s true what people say.” She said as she sat down on her bed. She pulled down her long sleeves down till the ends reached the palms of her hands. “That when people say it enough times to you, you start to believe them and it starts becoming true.”

And I just watched her look into her eyes.

My eyes.

She’s — I am – looking in a mirror.

“I’m becoming what they say I am.”

Tears sprang to my eyes.

“I hope you don’t stay long enough to see it.”