When I was young I was told that family would always stay and friends would leave.
So at a young age
I was thought that people come and go.
That the people you meet never stay
That family will be the only ones there for you
And I hated that thought as much as the next guy who was abused by his parents.
I abhorred the thought that the family I have will be with me forever.
But I can not disagree,
What they said was true.
People do come
…then they just leave.
Why do they leave?
Until at last I couldn’t take it anymore
I planned my escape.
Quite messily I might add.
But I had a procedure:
Step 1: Pick a canvas.
I chose my wrist and my thighs.
Step 2: Choose your paintbrush
I chose the sharpener.
Step 3: Choose how dark do you want your painting to be.
And the rest is just general cleaning.
Then she came
She drew me fantasies.
She created a space ship with my name on it and told me she’ll bring me to other galaxies.
She took me to the moon
She made me walk on water
Then she left
And all the fantasies became nightmares.
My skills of being an artist of the color red came back.
She left me, cold and unwanted.
She left me with a jar of broken dreams.
I’m never going to see other galaxies.
I’m never going to the moon.
I’m never going to walk on water.
But…you came and snuffed out the darkness in me.
Not entirely because the darkness will always be there,
But the light in your heart fought the darkness and won.
You carried me up
Into the ocean of clouds
You stared at me,
Your eyes full of love
You promised things that does not compare to the boundless sea
For as I read in a poem “for no such love and no such ocean will ever be”
What you promised was real.
You promised to take to the beach at sunset,
You promised to let me watch the stars.
You sang me to sleep,
Told me stories.
Held my hand through the nightmares.
You never gave up on me.
You showed me that people do stay
You told me that you can break the chains of this unwanted family bond.
My sweet, sweet darling
You are my answered prayer.
My one galaxy of stars,
My one true angel
I love you.
(To you, Loser)