This is for You.

When I was young I was told that family would always stay and friends would leave.

So at a young age

I was thought that people come and go.

That the people you meet never stay

That family will be the only ones there for you

And I hated that thought as much as the next guy who was abused by his parents.

I abhorred the thought that the family I have will be with me forever.

But I can not disagree,

What they said was true.

People do come

…then they just leave.

Why do they leave?

Until at last I couldn’t take it anymore

I planned my escape.

Quite messily I might add.

But I had a procedure:

Step 1: Pick a canvas.

I chose my wrist and my thighs.

Step 2: Choose your paintbrush

I chose the sharpener.

Step 3: Choose how dark do you want your painting to be.

And the rest is just general cleaning.


Then she came

She drew me fantasies.

She created a space ship with my name on it and told me she’ll bring me to other galaxies.

She took me to the moon

She made me walk on water

Then she left

And all the fantasies became nightmares.

My skills of being an artist of the color red came back.

She left me, cold and unwanted.

She left me with a jar of broken dreams.

I’m never going to see other galaxies.

I’m never going to the moon.

I’m never going to walk on water.



But…you came and snuffed out the darkness in me.

Not entirely because the darkness will always be there,

But the light in your heart fought the darkness and won.

You carried me up



Into the ocean of clouds

You stared at me,

Your eyes full of love

You promised things that does not compare to the boundless sea

For as I read in a poem “for no such love and no such ocean will ever be”

What you promised was real.

You promised to take to the beach at sunset,

You promised to let me watch the stars.

You sang me to sleep,

Told me stories.

Held my hand through the nightmares.

You never gave up on me.

You showed me that people do stay

You told me that you can break the chains of this unwanted family bond.


My sweet, sweet darling

You are my answered prayer.

My one galaxy of stars,

My one true angel

I love you.


(To you, Loser)


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