I’m sorry: The Mantra

When I was a little kid

I was taught that I should always

Always

Say sorry for the wrong things I’ve done.

You broke someone’s toy?

Im sorry.

You accidentally hit another kid’s face?

Im sorry.

You hurt your sister?

Im sorry.

You disobeyed your mom?

Im sorry

You cried for not getting what you want?

Im sorry.

You said I love you to a girl?

Im so–

You get the picture.

 

It grew on me,

That word.

It became my mantra.

I would say it over and over again

If I think I did something wrong.

And even if i didn’t do anything wrong,

I would say sorry for being too truthful.

Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im —

…See?

Its my mantra.

 

It came to my attention recently that sorry doesn’t fix everything.

I used to think that word,

Even though it would take time,

Would heal things up.

But apparently…

it doesn’t.

And yet I can’t stop saying sorry.

I keep saying it still.

Even when they don’t accept it.

It has become the mantra of no meaning.

It has been said so many times that

It did lose its meaning.

To me anyway.

 

I think thats why I don’t forgive myself.

On anything.

Because my sorries to myself,

Mean nothing at all.

 

I am broken thing,

That a simple sorry can not fix.

Even if it is my own.

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