Honestly?

Honestly?

I’m tired of thinking about you.

I’m tired of the constant memory of you

And how you used to be the only one to save me.

I’m tired of how part of the reason why the voices say what they say

Is because of you.

I fucking need to get my head together.

I need to be better for her.

Yet the memory of you makes the voices go

Tick tock

Tick tock

There’s the clock.

She’ll leave you too.

Better yet

Do the dance

Between death and you.

See what you’ve done to me?

You’ve turned me into a self-destructive time bomb.

I’m tired of the hurtful memories.

I’m tired of –

I’m tired.

 

Honestly?

I’m tired of feeling the isolation.

I’m tired of thinking you guys don’t want me to go with you.

I know that you don’t mean to.

I know you guys don’t mean to isolate me.

Or maybe I’m just overthinking?

I do that all the time.

I overthink as if I’m the one who is making the device that will either

End or start the war.

I’m tired of feeling alone when I’m with you guys.

I’m tired of feeling like I’m annoying.

 

 

Honestly?

Just fucking Honestly?

I’m so tired.

I’m so so tired.

Let me sleep,

For days in your arm my darling.

Let me sleep and listen to your wonderful heart beat.

Let me fall asleep to your singing,

Let me fall asleep with the thought that atleast someone loves me.

For I love you.

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